Gentle Reminders: Letting Go of Perfectionism and Embracing Change
This week, I am sharing an episode recorded around about this time last year. It feels so apt for today too.
The whole world is going through huge changes and it is so important we have compassion for ourselves with any changes, particularly as highly sensitive people and empaths.
We are in our second week of the one month social media sabbatical. We being The cats and yours truly.
I was feeling into this episode and also to conserve my energy levels with a few perimenopasual occurrences this week.
As I was searching for the Ishtar story, (another Tigre and bunny moment to share); I came upon this episode, as we know no such thing as coincidences :) I am sharing it exactly as it was recorded initially. I did start to edit and then felt the perfectionism reminder, let it be :). So this week self compassion is the key. Much love gorgeous and to your self acceptance.
We’re diving into this gem of an episode that’s all about being kind to ourselves, especially during those tricky times, like the whole perimenopause journey. Aline gets real about the pressure we often put on ourselves—like feeling we’re failing if we don’t meet our own deadlines. Spoiler alert: that’s a total myth! As she navigates her own self-care while taking a social media sabbatical, she reminds us that it’s okay to hit pause and just be. So whether you’re lying under a tree or dealing with some life changes, this episode is a gentle nudge to listen to your body and be your own best friend. Let’s get into it and embrace that self-love, folks!
If you would like the free Ebooks mentioned ; please check my website.
With much love and gratitude to all my teachers and guides.
Aline xx
She dives into the cosmic energies at play, thanks to the full moon, and how it’s a prime time for self-reflection. Aline encourages us to ask the tough questions: Who are we without the distractions? What lies do we tell ourselves? And how can we create healthier boundaries? It’s a gentle nudge to embrace our true selves, even when it feels uncomfortable. So, if you’re feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders or just need a little reminder to show yourself some love, this episode is your perfect companion. Aline's insights are all about growth, acceptance, and the beautiful messiness of being human.
If you’re on the quest for self-acceptance, Aline is your guide through the fog of self-criticism and societal pressures. This episode is all about diving into the depths of who we are beneath the layers of expectations and distractions. Aline shares her journey of shedding her former party-girl persona as she navigates newfound clarity and self-awareness. It’s a refreshing take on personal growth, where she highlights the importance of surrounding ourselves with supportive people who truly uplift us. With the backdrop of a transformative full moon, the discussion flows into how we can face the changes happening within us and around us.
Aline’s candid reflections on her experiences with communication—both with others and within herself—underscore the need for honest dialogue in our lives. This isn’t just about being nice to ourselves; it’s about actively cultivating a nurturing relationship with our inner selves. The episode wraps up with practical tips on how to engage with your feelings and what it means to embrace your authentic self. Aline encourages us to let go of judgment, both towards ourselves and others. If you need a gentle reminder to be your own best friend, this episode serves it up with a side of real talk and a sprinkle of love.
Transcript
Foreign for me, Eileen, here.
Speaker A:I have come on today, and this is going out today because I really wanted to share something with you all.
Speaker A:And I feel so many of us are going through it.
Speaker A:And as many times as we say, be kind to yourself, be gentle to yourself, there's often times we're trying to get things done so other people are happy.
Speaker A:So, for example, the last couple of days, I've been feeling, okay, I've got to get this podcast up and ready, and if I don't, I'm a failure.
Speaker A:And that's ridiculous.
Speaker A:I know it's ridiculous as I'm saying it out loud.
Speaker A:And as many tools as I have, as many.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:As many coping mechanisms, as many tools that I have, that has been this little thing going round and round, regardless of the fact that the last few days have been rather fraught in my.
Speaker A:In my family life.
Speaker A:And it's so interesting how we speak to ourselves sometimes.
Speaker A:And I realize this morning I'm just tired.
Speaker A:And for example, I went to lie under a tree yesterday, and as I was lying under the tree, I was thinking, I really need to go.
Speaker A:I should really go for a walk, really, shouldn't I?
Speaker A:Even though my body was like, thank you, we're not in front of a computer.
Speaker A:We're not running around doing other things.
Speaker A:We're just being.
Speaker A:We're still.
Speaker A:We're lying here.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:This is exactly what's needed.
Speaker A:And even as my body was speaking to me and saying thank you, my head was saying, well, we really should be going for a walk.
Speaker A:So consequently, later, as I was putting the garage door down, there's a bit of a technique that we have to use.
Speaker A:It doesn't go all the way down.
Speaker A:You have to kind of press it down gently at the end.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:Then the.
Speaker A:The garage goes dark.
Speaker A:Then you kind of fumble around in the dark to try and find the light switch.
Speaker A:Anyway, as I was doing this, a metal cat tray fell on my foot.
Speaker A:So I was like, okay.
Speaker A:So I didn't listen.
Speaker A:My body didn't want to go for a walk.
Speaker A:So consequently, I had metal cat tray falling on my foot.
Speaker A:And it just made me waking up this morning and really feeling, right, I have to have that podcast ready.
Speaker A:There are podcasts recorded, they need editing, and they need to go up.
Speaker A:I'm human.
Speaker A:And I was really feeling there's so much pressure that we put on ourselves.
Speaker A:So that's what I wanted, just to chat, come on today and chat about, you know, who are we without the distractions in our lives?
Speaker A:And for example, what lies are we saying to ourselves and what lies are we listening to?
Speaker A:Who cares whether the podcast goes up exactly on a Wednesday, exactly on a Friday, exactly on a Sunday?
Speaker A:Who cares if it's a couple of days later the following week?
Speaker A:Apparently I do, because I've got this perfectionism thing in me.
Speaker A:I've got this syllable.
Speaker A:If you don't do it right, it's that good girl syndrome, you know, it's that syndrome.
Speaker A:Yeah, syndrome.
Speaker A:So when, when.
Speaker A:And if you don't get this, wonderful.
Speaker A:But it's coming up for me, so I imagine it's coming up.
Speaker A:Quite a lot of people at the moment.
Speaker A:We're in.
Speaker A:Still in the full moon energy.
Speaker A:It's an incredible full moon in Aries, and it's really showing us what doesn't work for us.
Speaker A:So things are going to be coming up.
Speaker A:So things that we feel that we've dealt with.
Speaker A:For me, and I'm just talking to myself about myself personally, wonderful.
Speaker A:If it's all plain sailing and smooth for you, fabulous.
Speaker A:For, for me, for example, things that I thought I'd dealt with have started rising to the surface and maybe that's happening with you as well.
Speaker A:So just come on today to just say, be really gentle with yourself.
Speaker A:Really gentle with yourself.
Speaker A:And I know I say this a lot and I.
Speaker A:This is for me as well.
Speaker A:Everything that comes through is for me as well, you know, to the point I nearly didn't record because I've got a bit of a cold at the moment.
Speaker A:Um, there's a lot going on in terms of transitioning and moving.
Speaker A:And I know I'm moving.
Speaker A:I don't know where, I don't know when, I don't know how.
Speaker A:I just know it's happening.
Speaker A:So that's also going on with me at the moment.
Speaker A:So let's say you're going through that, a similar situation, not necessarily moving, but you may be changing job, you may be in the feeling of relationships not right for you.
Speaker A:Be really, really gentle with yourself and really, really listen to that intuition.
Speaker A:Write things down, even do this, even just pop on, you know, zoom or on video on your phone and just speak and just see what comes out, see what you're really feeling.
Speaker A:You don't have to show anybody, you don't have to publish it.
Speaker A:Just what is actually going on with you?
Speaker A:And I was in the hospital.
Speaker A:I wasn't in the hospital.
Speaker A:I was in the hospital with a family member at the the end of last week.
Speaker A:And one thing that came up hugely was lack of communication.
Speaker A:And I know things are shown to us around us for us to know there's mirrors going on.
Speaker A:So I started feeling after we dealt with the lack of communication, what's that showing me?
Speaker A:What am I being shown in my life where don't I communicate properly?
Speaker A:And it's with myself, quite frankly.
Speaker A:So I've decided that I'm going to go from Friday, I'm going to go back into my self love process.
Speaker A:The 22 days of feeling self love.
Speaker A:Because that feels right for me.
Speaker A:If there's something that's coming up for you, I would invite you to just find something that nurtures you and go with that and really work with that.
Speaker A:Do some affirmations, be out in nature.
Speaker A:What fills you up.
Speaker A:Go, go and go to an art gallery or sit yourself and draw or scribble again.
Speaker A:You don't have to show nobody, but just enter into that beautiful creative space that is you.
Speaker A:Because we are all creative.
Speaker A:And I don't feel that I'm digressing.
Speaker A:This is just coming out because it really feels this is the message for today that is going up to today, up today.
Speaker A:And with the way YouTube is, it might be in five hours, it might be in half an hour, we'll see.
Speaker A:But what I'm really feeling is we are all going through huge changes and my incredible teachers, Christopher and Foster Perry have been talking to us all very much about, no, we're coming into the Plutonian era and there's a lot changing quickly, there's a lot rapidly changing and we're feeling it.
Speaker A:You know, I say I help intuitive empaths, I help everybody.
Speaker A:I, you know, I, if somebody said to me, I'm not an intuitive empath, that doesn't matter to me.
Speaker A:I will still help you because I'm an intuitive empath.
Speaker A:I feel that I'm here to guide and help intuitive empaths more.
Speaker A:Because our senses are getting higher and higher and higher and we're feeling more and more and more and the distractions are leaving us.
Speaker A:So, for example, I was feeding into this as well.
Speaker A:Who am I without my distractions?
Speaker A:Who am I when I'm not fixing everything?
Speaker A:Who am I when I not in a social situation?
Speaker A:Because I changed, I really changed.
Speaker A:Three years ago I completely gave up alcohol.
Speaker A:I was giving, I, I was, it was happening as a gentle process anyway where I just didn't really like it.
Speaker A:One year I decided, I don't.
Speaker A:I'm going to do a year without alcohol and see how I go and really doesn't bother me.
Speaker A:Now before I was known as a party girl, you know, I would be life and soul of the party.
Speaker A:Carver, champagne.
Speaker A:It just doesn't interest me anymore.
Speaker A:So I'm still going through who am I?
Speaker A:Without that distraction.
Speaker A:And that's okay because my social circle has changed rather dramatically.
Speaker A:And that's all right, because I don't feel.
Speaker A:I don't feel filled up in that sense, in that environment.
Speaker A:Because.
Speaker A:And it's no judgment, if people want to drink, that's entirely up to them.
Speaker A:I don't want to sit around that.
Speaker A:That's just my decision.
Speaker A:And I feel that so many of us are going through that.
Speaker A:So if that's you as well, and it doesn't have to be alcohol, it could be absolutely anything.
Speaker A:There could be some kind of habits, unhealthy habit that you've had that you've given up.
Speaker A:Perhaps it could be, I don't know, smoking, or you've become vegan, or you've given up bad self talk.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:But what happens is, as we change, and my cat's just agreeing with me, as we change our mindset and our feelings towards ourselves, then that's inside us automatically, it's going to happen around us as well.
Speaker A:And the people who really want to show up for you and who are really, truly your friends will stay there.
Speaker A:The people who want you to be a certain way, because that's how they know you.
Speaker A:And that's fine.
Speaker A:That's their story.
Speaker A:If they don't want to be around you, just let them go.
Speaker A:Really just let them go.
Speaker A:Because there's so many more healthy people for you to be around.
Speaker A:And it can sometimes feel a little lonely, like cry in a minute.
Speaker A:It can sometimes feel a little lonely.
Speaker A:And you feel almost like an outsider, but you're not an outsider to yourself.
Speaker A:And the more we work on ourselves inside, the more that translates to what's happening outside.
Speaker A:So don't give up on yourself.
Speaker A:That's my message today.
Speaker A:Be really kind.
Speaker A:Be really, hugely your own best friend.
Speaker A:And if you're listening to this and you're feeling, oh, well, I need to do that, I haven't done this, I should do this.
Speaker A:Please let that go as well.
Speaker A:Just be really, really hugely and gorgeously compassionate with yourself and.
Speaker A:And love yourself.
Speaker A:You know, love is the answer.
Speaker A:It sounds like a cliche, but actually it really is, you know, that we can't.
Speaker A:We can't fight hate with hate, if that makes sense.
Speaker A:And I'm not saying be all Pollyanna, because it's not about, oh, isn't it wonderful?
Speaker A:Unicorns and rainbows.
Speaker A:Pollyanna ever said that.
Speaker A:But anyway, it's about what is okay for you.
Speaker A:It's about healthy boundaries.
Speaker A:It's about saying, actually, no, this doesn't feel okay for me, and I don't want to be in this situation.
Speaker A:So it's about really standing up for yourself in a really gentle and compassionate way.
Speaker A:And if you need to go be like I do many times underneath a tree on your own with no distractions, do that.
Speaker A:If you want to go for a walk in nature, if you don't have a crushing metal tray on your foot, do that.
Speaker A:You know, if you want to be at the beach, do that.
Speaker A:And if you want to just play some fabulous rock music or heavy metal, whatever music works for you, and jump around like a lunatic or just jump around as you do that, you know, it isn't one size fits all.
Speaker A:And that's what is fundamental, I feel at the moment.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's accepting that you go at your pace and allow others to go at their pace.
Speaker A:And if you are in a situation where you said to somebody or you've said to a group, okay, let's do this together, and you're the only one doing it, keep going.
Speaker A:You don't have to wait for them.
Speaker A:And if you feel like somebody's ahead of you, don't compare yourself to them either.
Speaker A:But keep just doing.
Speaker A:You keep working on yourself with compassion for yourself and compassion for where others are at the moment.
Speaker A:It's a known judgment zone.
Speaker A:And this is.
Speaker A:And I know this is so difficult because we talk about, you know, let's not judge others.
Speaker A:Don't judge yourself.
Speaker A:If you're going to judge yourself, congratulate yourself for where you are.
Speaker A:All right, So I just really felt to come on and say that today.
Speaker A:Just be really kind with yourself.
Speaker A:We're all going through a lot.
Speaker A:We have made agreements to be here.
Speaker A:We have made agreements to experience certain things, to grow from, and to help others with that so we can be of service.
Speaker A:We've made agreements to be here as highly, highly sensitive people so we can make changes in the world, but not on our own.
Speaker A:So don't try and do everything on your own.
Speaker A:And when the time is right, the.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The best people your tribe will find you.
Speaker A:You know, the.
Speaker A:The people will be around you.
Speaker A:So don't surround yourself with people just not to feel lo still feel lonely in an environment that's not right for you.
Speaker A:And I am constantly saying this to myself now, I'll be Invited somewhere.
Speaker A:And if it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right.
Speaker A:If I'm invited to a, a country, it's like, okay, yes, I'll go, I'm invited.
Speaker A:Five minutes around the corner doesn't feel right for me.
Speaker A:So really click in and listen to your intuition and just give yourself a break.
Speaker A:Stop being so judgy with yourself.
Speaker A:So I really felt to talk about, you know, what lies are we telling ourselves.
Speaker A:So be really gentle with yourself.
Speaker A:And if any kind of thought comes up that just doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel helpful, you can do.
Speaker A:There's a couple of ways to deal with this.
Speaker A:You can say, okay, fine, that's a thought.
Speaker A:I'll let that go.
Speaker A:Or there's a couple of processes that I have that if you would like to receive the, the free ebook, just email me and send me your email.
Speaker A:So email me, I'll put it underneath and then I will send you a link so you can download that free ebook.
Speaker A:There's something called the stop Process on there.
Speaker A:And then there's also one called Making Friends with Our Inner Critic.
Speaker A:And they're both really useful tools.
Speaker A:And like I said, you know, we, we have a whole plethora of tools, but sometimes just little reminders.
Speaker A:I've done them visually, so they're ebooks.
Speaker A:So you can see the images work through the, the practice.
Speaker A:And I just find it, it helps me.
Speaker A:Anyway, it's just a visual reminder, very visual.
Speaker A:So if you would like to receive that, just send me your email address and I'll send that to you.
Speaker A:The fundamental reason that I've come on today is to just to say, be really kind to yourself.
Speaker A:This full moon is huge.
Speaker A:It's bringing up a lot.
Speaker A:And just be with yourself.
Speaker A:Be with your family.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Be with your friends, but take time and be with yourself.
Speaker A:And I would suggest that start looking into who are you without distractions.
Speaker A:Who are you really to the core of yourself?
Speaker A:Who are you really?
Speaker A:Who.
Speaker A:Who are you when you're not people pleasing?
Speaker A:Who are you when you're not fixing all the problems of the family?
Speaker A:Who are you when you're not fixing all the problems for your friends?
Speaker A:Who are you when you're a daughter, when you're not a granddaughter, when you're not a wife, when you're not a husband, when you're not an uncle?
Speaker A:You know, when you're not, these names.
Speaker A:Who are you?
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Who are you when you're not a sister or a brother?
Speaker A:So that's what I'd like to leave you with today.
Speaker A:So I wish you the most beautiful of Sundays and I'm really feeling that this may be a regular thing inspiration Sundays may be coming soon.
Speaker A:So I wish you the most wondrous of Sundays, the most beautiful of full moons.
Speaker A:And do get in touch with me.
Speaker A:I love to hear from you.
Speaker A:And we're all in this together.
Speaker A:You know, we, we can't do this on our own.
Speaker A:And I really feel that's what we're being shown and that's what's happening at the moment.
Speaker A:We're going higher and higher, but we have to accept that we can't do it on our own.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:So much love, so many full moon blessings and thank you for being here.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Accepting.
Speaker B:Please do stay tuned for future episodes and also subscribe wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker B:If there's anything at all that you'd like me to cover in future episodes, please get in touch and let me know.
Speaker B:You can also follow me on Instagram at the Acceptance Coach and on TikTok at SolutionUnion99.
Speaker B:And if you'd like to have any coaching at all or you would like to discuss this, do book an expansion call for now.
Speaker B:I'm your host, Aline and to your self acceptance, gorgeous with so much love.
